...waiting for my life to finally be what I want it to be...

14th February 2013

Photo reblogged from Make me bad with 935 notes

dejaxvu:

Oh hai guys, just me enjoying Valentine’s Day :’D

All day every year.

dejaxvu:

Oh hai guys, just me enjoying Valentine’s Day :’D

All day every year.

Source: dejaxvu

13th November 2012

Photo reblogged from Debbie Downer with 1,792 notes

philguillou:

Photoshoot by David Hamilton


I love that dress! to be skinny enough to wear one like it!

philguillou:

Photoshoot by David Hamilton

I love that dress! to be skinny enough to wear one like it!

Source: philguillou

13th November 2012

Photo reblogged from Debbie Downer with 59,871 notes

darling-dearest-d-e-a-d:

anything.

darling-dearest-d-e-a-d:

anything.

Source: athletic-beauty

13th November 2012

Post with 1 note

Why do I do this to myself?

*le sigh* I don’t think I’ll ever truly be happy with myself mentally. I got a newsletter from Ideal Weight the other day saying that if you aren’t happy with yourself you are at risk of gaining the weight you lost back.
These last 2 weeks when I go in for my weekly weigh in their scales say I gained weight (1lb each week) and mine says I haven’t. My scale is usually right on with their scales…so in retaliation for myself I’ve been starving myself and eating only one of their snacks and one normal meal within their rules. I’ve been drinking shit tons of water too.
I hate myself. But I feel so much lighter when I starve myself! Dx fuck my life.
Because of the “gains” I’ve also been depressed. My mom commented on my license picture (cause I finally got it!) that I actually look happy… No, I’m just good at faking it. :\

Tagged: dietweight lossweight loss problemsfat girl problemsanaanorexiaednosself hatedepression

25th October 2012

Photo reblogged from Light as a feather with 53 notes

Source: weheartit.com

25th October 2012

Post with 1 note

Updates!!!

So my arms, neck, hip, and thighs wont shrink as quickly as I want them to, but here’s my before and current measurements and weight. I started this diet September 18, and 5 weeks later this is where I’m at:

9/17
BMI: 33.05
Weight: 223.8
Neck: 14.5
Arms: 12.25
Chest: 42
Rib cage: 37.5
Waist: 41.5
Hips: 46
Thighs: 24.5

10/24
BMI: 30.27
Weight: 205.8
Neck: 14
Arms: 12
Chest: 39
Rib cage: 35.5
Waist: 35.5
Hips: 44
Thighs: 24

Total Loss
in pounds: 18
in inches: 13.75

Tagged: updateweight lossgoal weightanaednosdietdietingweight statsmeasurementsanorexiaself hatefat girl problemsfatobese

25th October 2012

Post with 2 notes

blargh!!!

Well, I haven’t been on in a while.. I started the Ideal Protein diet 5 weeks ago. I’m starting my 6th week today, and I’ve lost 16 LBs and 13.75 inches all over. I keep shrinking, but I get so mad that it’s not happening fast enough (for me - in all actuality it is coming off fast)

But oh, my god, all this food I have to eat!!!! I feel so sick right now because I had to eat 2 hard boiled eggs, and half a cup of green beans. I dunno how much of this I can take. D: I just keep feeling sick from eating so much food. And I know you don’t have to eat it all in one sitting, but half the time I do, because I won’t have time later, or because I need to sleep. Like right now, I should be asleep because it’s 3:30 in the morning. But am I? No. I’m awake because I need to stay awake for at least another hour so I actually CAN sleep and not feel like puking. -.-

I can feel my fat melting away though! My waist went from 41.5 to 35.5! I’m gonna have SUCH a tiny waist when I’m done with this!! :D

Oh well. Hmm, maybe time for some updated stats?

CW: 205lbs
BMI:  30.27

Height: 5’9”

GW1: 210lbs

GW2: 200lbs

GW3: 175lbs

GW4: 150lbs

UGW: 145lbs

Tagged: weight loss problemsweight lossfat girl problemsself hateideal proteindietdietingednosanaweight statsgoal weightBMIobesefat

2nd October 2012

Photo reblogged from A preacher with no pulpit with 734 notes

snapplekat:

Little Mermaid by *Fukari

snapplekat:

Little Mermaid by *Fukari

Source: fukari.deviantart.com

21st September 2012

Post

So. Much. Food! Dx

Uuuuughh!!!! I feel SO HORRIBLE! I have to eat so much food! I want to do this diet because there IS a 100% success rate and I already feel it working and I’m only on day 4. But all this food! It’s making me so nauseous! D:

Tagged: food problemsfat girl problemsweight lossweight loss problemsfood suckslifepersonalself hateanorexiaednos

21st September 2012

Photo reblogged from A preacher with no pulpit with 1,049 notes

transcendental-bliss:

Serlen

transcendental-bliss:

Serlen

Source: transcendental-bliss